I have (officially) moved on.

I cut the cord today.  To say it was an umbilical cord wouldn't be completely accurate, but somehow it's still appropriate - it was the only thing feeding me the same information that tied me down and kept me in touch.  As soon as I clicked "Yes, please remove from my friends" everything disappeared.  Into thin air, virtually of course.  There's no going back.
The weight has fallen from me and dropped into the bottomless gorge below.  I could finally climb up and see what it was that I have been missing and breathe in the air the flowed so easily by me, through my hair, that it felt like I would fly off the top of the world if only I spread my arms out and allowed the wind to take me.
I am free.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

I look at you and see all the love there that's sleeping.

Is there such a thing as coincidence?  I think not.  I believe in a lot of things: luck, ghosts, karma, love, etc... But coincidence just seems like a silly thing to believe in.

If you work hard for something and you get paid extra in the end, that's definitely not coincidence - that's reward.  If you bully someone in school and 10 years later, you find out you need their help and they don't feel inclined to give it - that's karma.  And if you got turned down from your dream of traveling to China because you didn't have enough money, but you found the love of your life instead - that's fate.

There is no such thing as coincidence.  Everything relates to everything else.  The Butterfly Effect, if you will.  And things happen for a reason.  It just takes a little bit of time to find out that reason.  Be patient.  Be open.

For, with every mistake we must surely be learning.

Don't Forget:

... to breathe.
... to think.
... to have fun.
... to stop over-thinking.
... to be true.
... to sleep.
... to be sassy.
... to remember.
... to be strong.
... yourself.
... who you want to be.

Overwhelmed

I am in awe at the world.  And in love.  And I want the world to know.

I'm not an idiot.  I know that life is not as simple as it seems and that hardships will come with time.  But so do friends and good days and dreams.  And you cannot dwell on the negatives, but instead look forward to the future or you will never make it out alive.  I remember the day that I wished upon a star and made the promise to myself to wish for the same thing every time - because that's what I truly want.  I don't want a big house, fancy cars, lots of expensive jewelry.... No.  Not if I can't have you.  And you make my dream come true.

Life will be busy.  Shit happens.  But the best part about that is you'll be there.  We will help each other.  Guide each other.  Encourage and support and advise.  Share our burdens and our successes.  We will be a team.  A great team.  And I am soooo excited!  I don't know how you make me feel this way, but you do.  And I am in constant amazement that I make you feel the same way, too.

To steal your words, "You are the light that guides my step into being the [woman] I want to be.  I love you more than you will ever know."

New blog [again]

I have officially created a new blog in honor of my current career entitled Retail In Review.  You should read it. :)

Is this crazy? Am I dreaming?

"Does he make you want to be the best person you can be?"

"We talk until we fall asleep.  We talk all night long."
"There's a peace between us.  Whether we're taking a walk, watching tv, eating dinner - we're at peace."

"I wanted to be with him even if he never had a penis, if we never had kids, if we never kissed - it didn't matter as long as I got to be with him."
"I wanted to spend my life with him."

"Always remember you're on the same team."  You're fighting for the same things.

"They want to bring out the best in you.  And you want to be the best for them."

Let's go swimming.

You know, I never thought I'd say this - but I want to go diving.  I want to stand at the top of the board, teetering on the edge of that piece of fiberglass and look down and not be able to see the bottom.  I want to feel the anxiety, the fear, the excitement, and the hope of what is to come.  But above all, I want to dive.

Just dive right in - no matter the circumstances.  I want to give it all up and just jump and feel the water encase my body inch by inch until I'm totally enveloped and I can't breathe.  I want to paddle through for a bit before I come up for air.

I don't ever want to leave.

_______________________________________________

My head protects me.  It weighs 8 pounds and a good portion of that is the thickness of my skull.  And right now my head is trying to protect me in more ways.  It's saying, "Hey!  Hey, you!  Yeah, you.  You don't know how to swim... So why in the world would you go DIVING?!"

I guess I forgot about that part.  You're right... I should wait.  'Til I at least learn how to swim.  That would be the responsible and mature thing to do.

But it's not as much fun.  And diving in head first feels so, so right.