Chick Flicks

P.S. I Love You, Pride & Prejudice, Titanic, Dirty Dancing, Pretty Woman, Ever After - chick flicks. What is it about them that makes our heart melt? From Gone With the Wind and Grease to Moulin Rouge and The Notebook, they tell the perfect story. Whether it's falling for your best friend named Harry or committing suicide because you can't be with your Romeo, they always know what women want to hear. And no matter how extreme or different the plot is, the story is always the same. The woman is trapped. She meets a man who sets her free. There's conflict. And then they're together and forever in love.

Does this appeal to women because they feel like they're constantly trapped? And if so, who's fault is that? Disney is a pro at chick flicks. They help mold us to believe that somewhere out there our Prince Charming is waiting to carry us away on his white horse and that in the meantime we should fight the evil stepmother who prevents us from having what we deserve. Delightful, isn't it? Even my own mother has told me as a child to not let any man treat me as anything less than "a princess."

But that sort of thing doesn't really happen. We find a suitable husband, settle down with a dog and small house with a white picket fence, and have 2.5 kids that we take to soccer practice every saturday morning. I see no white stallion awaiting. And what man in his right mind would willingly love a woman (the bane of his sex's existence) for eternity?

Some movies are a little more realistic than others... Afterall, it's not everyday that a man named Wesley will become a dreaded pirate that follows your kidnappers, climb up a cliff to fight a giant, outwit an Argentinian with poison, come back from the dead, and still save you from the prince that's trying to marry you in front of a priest that can't say the word "marriage" correctly. However, at the same time, how realistic are those movies? How often do you REALLY meet someone online that isn't 49-years-old and still living in his mother's basement? Or have you actually ever heard of two secret agents finding out after years of being married that they love each other unconditionally? No. It doesn't exist.

So should I give up all my whimsical flights of fantasy now? I mean, if I'm just going to graduate from college, get a job, settle down with a man, and take my kids to soccer practice then that's what I should look forward to, right? Why waste time dreaming up something that could never be true? Am I still too childish inside? Am I so naive to think that it could still come true? Not the pirate or secret agent part, but could someone really take me away on a white horse?

But what if I'm so busy trying to find the perfect guy that I take a really great guy for granted and pass up an amazing opportunity? He wouldn't even have a chance. Especially when comparing him to someone like Noah from The Notebook or William from A Knight's Tale... I haven't even met him and my standards for him are already impossibly high. Poor boy. He never saw it coming.

To Want

What makes you want something? What attracts your attention so strongly that you suddenly can not live without it? It could be the pretty colors, the way it shines in the sun, or a many number of things. Normally if we see something we want, we take it. Whether it's actually purchasing it, picking it up off the ground, or perhaps (for some) even stealing it.

But what do you do if it has a life of its own? Take, for instance, a person. You find someone you are truly happy with on so many levels. You want them. Maybe it's because of how they look or what pretty colors they wear. Maybe it's the way they shine or the way they move when you touch them. Either way, you want them. But what happens if they don't want you back?

And how do you go about living once you realize what is missing in your life does not want to be a part of your life?

But what is worse - hearing that you're not wanted or telling someone who wants you so desperately that you don't care for them?

Lucky

Something that is new to people is often unusual, strange, odd, and probably wrong. I will be the first to admit that I thought some new-fangled gadget or whatnot was weird. But just because I didn't know anything about it does not mean that I didn't like it. "You can't judge a book by its cover." "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it." There's a million sayings that go to prove a point, but who wants to listen to sayings?

The same goes for people. Just because someone is different than you does not mean that they are weird, strange, or wrong. Pointing out the obvious non-similarities is fine, however, making fun of them is not. But what's even worse than that are those that don't know that they're doing it. That is what really hurts.

Ignoring a situation does not make it go away instantaneously, but talking about it normally only clears the mind of half the party, leaving the other to dwell on the situation. So what is one to do?

I don't like pity. I don't like when other people pity me and I hate pitying others. I know just how lucky I am to be alive and I know I take it for granted every day. Sometimes I wish other people would realize that as well.

If you had a pen....

Suppose someone gave you a pen – a sealed, solid-colored pen.

You couldn’t see how much ink it had. It might run dry after the first few tentative words or last just long enough to create a masterpiece (or several) that would last forever and make a difference in the scheme of things. You don’t know before you begin.

Under the rules of the game, you really never know. You have to take a chance! Actually, no rule of the game states you must do anything. Instead of picking up and using the pen, you could leave it on a shelf or in a drawer where it will dry up, unused.

But if you do decide to use it, what would you do with it? How would you play the game?

Would you take the pen in hand, plunge right in and just do it, struggling to keep up with the twists and turns of the torrents of words that take you where they take you?

Would you write cautiously and carefully, as if the pen might run dry the next moment, or would you pretend or believe (or pretend to believe) that the pen will write forever and proceed accordingly?

And of what would you write: Of love? Hate? Fun? Misery? Life? Death? Nothing? Everything?

Would you write to please just yourself? Or others? Or yourself by writing for others?

Would your strokes be tremblingly timid or brilliantly bold? Fancy with a flourish or plain?

Would you even write? Once you have the pen, no rule says you have to write. Would you sketch? Scribble? Doodle or draw?

Would you stay in or on the lines, or see no lines at all, even if they were there? Or are they?

There’s a lot to think about here, isn’t there? Now suppose someone gave you a life…

(By David A. Berman)