Stop

We have painters at our house climbing on the roof. They're out all day in the hot sun and are drinking from the hose when they get thirsty. So, yesterday afternoon, I brought them some cold, filtered ice water. They thanked me profusely. We got into talking and come to find out they're in college. One's going for his bachelor's in 6 years and the other for his masters in early childhood guidance in 7 years. And it occurred to me, what brought them here? Why painting houses? They're there from 9am - 8pm with one 1-hr break for lunch and it's just the two of them. Everyday. All week.

What else don't I know? Where is the car next to me going on the highway? Why do some people seem so forlorn while others so happy? What happened to them today? Did their spouse get a promotion? Did their child die?

Step out of your life for a moment and ask someone how they're doing. Next time you're at your little sister's graduation or you're on your way to work and passing a wreck - think about it. Your life could be so different.

I poured a glass of water down the drain today because it was 'old' and too warm to the taste. That glass in a different location could mean so much to someone other than me. Don't take what you have for granted. We often don't think about our actions until after we've committed them. If we just cared a little bit more, just a minuscule bit, everything would be so different. Just stop once in your day. Just once.

Elephant Love

Love is a many splendored thing
Love lifts us up where we belong
All you need is love

Please, don't start that again

All you need is love

A girl has got to eat

All you need is love

She'll end up on the street

All you need is love!

Love is just a game

I was made for loving you baby
You were made for loving me

The only way of loving me baby
Is to pay a lovely fee

Just one night
Give me just one night

There's no way
'Cause you can't pay

In the name of love
One night in the name of love!

You crazy fool
I won't give in to you

Don't, leave me this way
I can't survive, without your sweet love
Oh baby, don't leave me this way

You'd think that people would've had
Enough of silly love songs

I look around me and I see
It isn't so, oh no

Some people wanna fill the world
With silly love songs

Well, what's wrong with that?
I like to know
Cause here I go again
Love lifts us up where we belong
Where eagles fly
On a mountain high

Love makes us act like we are fools
Throw our lives away
For one happy day

We could be heroes
Just for one day

You, you will be mean

No, I won't

And I, I'll drink all the time

We should be lovers

We can't do that

We should be lovers
And that's a fact

Though nothing, would keep us together

We could steal time

Just for one day
We could be heroes
Forever and ever
We could be heroes
Forever and ever
We can be heroes

Just because I
Will always love you

I...

...Can't help loving...

...You.

How wonderful life is

Now you're in the world.

Disruptions

Everything's falling apart. People are leaving. School is ending. Lives are changing. I don't want this to happen, but it is. I accept it, but I don't have to like it.

I want to settle into one place.
I don't want a summer house and a winter home.
I want me and I want people who want to be with me for me.
I want ordered spontaneity, not sporadic rules.
I want to be interested and interesting.
I don't want to be the "other" person.
I don't want to be the topic of conversation when I leave a room.
I want to be his topic of conversation when I leave the room.
I want to bond with myself, not to be lonely.
And I want the mental capability to be patient...

Yet, even with all the disruptions, I can feel a sense of routine starting to come into place. As if the world was finally tired of people destroying it so it heated up the global climate, melted the icecaps, flooded the land, killed everything in its path, and wiped the slate clean to start new again. Fresh. As if cleaning out a wound. Sure... it doesn't look all that great, but it looks better than when it had infection in it. And it'll look even better when it's healed.

It's starting. I can feel it. Now, I just have to make sure I don't pick at the scab...

Yin and Yang

It's a weird feeling to be rejected and wanted all at the same time. The person you avoid most wants you, yet the one you adore has no interest in you.

I tell myself all the time that things happen for a reason... That if I had gone on a field trip with my Science Olympiad team in high school to Chicago, I wouldn't have gotten the multi-thousand-dollar scholarship that spanned almost 2 full years of college. If I had gotten that promotion at work, I would never have met all the amazing people when I worked at Disney World. If I had taken the full-ride scholarship to Northwest, I wouldn't be with the fabulous roommates I have now and would not be traveling to France next summer.

So... now that I have been rejected by someone I cared for, what will happen? Where will this lead me to? Who will I meet and what will I experience now? I know it will be better than what I have now. It's the transition to getting there that's hard. I hate waiting. Whether that's because I'm an American who's always on the move or because I'm impatient or lonely and want the companionship, it's the one thing in life right now that's keeping me positive.

Or rather, I hope something good will come of this....

How do you keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel if you don't know which way is out?

Dating

It's teasing, flaunting, a mating ritual. It's body language, seduction, flirting, and gestures. It's companionship, courting, social, intimate, kissing, sex, holding hands, not touching, eating, watching, waiting, and always and forever wishing.

It's an endless circle of doors closing and windows opening and soon you don't know which way is up or where you started from to begin with. Your mind gets trapped in a labyrinth where the things that feel so good are the same that bring about the worst. And when you want something so bad you don't care anymore of the consequences, the instant you get it is when you start to rethink your decision.

It's an audition for a partner for life. For LIFE. Whether that be male, female, neither, both, or 15 cats... it's someone to keep you company. It's about self-gratification and trial relationships. It's nothing serious that can turn into something way too serious. It's about finding faults in everyone else and hiding the ones in yourself.

But yet, it's about finding yourself. About finding what you like or what you don't like. It's about interaction and feeling wanted. It's about going farther in debt and taking time away from everyone else, but it's also about finding happiness and a steady path in life.

I believe things happen for a reason; if someone loves you enough, even if you hurt them, they will continue loving you; and that life must be lived. So for whatever happens in life, let it happen. Leave it be and just be you. You will find your own crowd and your one penguin to dance around with for eternity.

Just give it time. And live.