Disruptions

Everything's falling apart. People are leaving. School is ending. Lives are changing. I don't want this to happen, but it is. I accept it, but I don't have to like it.

I want to settle into one place.
I don't want a summer house and a winter home.
I want me and I want people who want to be with me for me.
I want ordered spontaneity, not sporadic rules.
I want to be interested and interesting.
I don't want to be the "other" person.
I don't want to be the topic of conversation when I leave a room.
I want to be his topic of conversation when I leave the room.
I want to bond with myself, not to be lonely.
And I want the mental capability to be patient...

Yet, even with all the disruptions, I can feel a sense of routine starting to come into place. As if the world was finally tired of people destroying it so it heated up the global climate, melted the icecaps, flooded the land, killed everything in its path, and wiped the slate clean to start new again. Fresh. As if cleaning out a wound. Sure... it doesn't look all that great, but it looks better than when it had infection in it. And it'll look even better when it's healed.

It's starting. I can feel it. Now, I just have to make sure I don't pick at the scab...