Be Realistic

It never used to be like this. I used to have more friends than I could handle. I used to be thin, tall, pretty, sweet, joyful, smart, cute, innocent, bright, and lit up all the time. I want to get back to that.

Don't I?

Was I happy with life then? Or does it even matter? I'm not happy with life now, so this is what I have to change.

Okay, Jessica... think realistically. I am the still same height. I am still smart, bright, joyful. But I have lost my innocence. I am more vocal now - more opinionated. I have more energy, I think... or at least exert the energy in the right direction now.

But I'm not motivated anymore to do anything. I've lost some sort of spark, or 'spunk' rather as someone once said. I need to be strong and strong-willed and find people that want to be around me. I need to find that wit that I know I have in me. I need to be free and young and wise about my choices in life. I need to take chances. But most importantly, I need to be me.